I just read some of the latest headlines, and I see there is finally some attention being given to the outside appearance of today's computer. No longer do we have to put up with droll gray or beige boxes. Pretty soon, we'll be able to coordinate our computer housing with the rest of the furnishings. I'm not just talking color here, but style as well. Supposedly, we'll be able to choose between the standard tower design, and one, for instance, that resembles a little rocket - complete with fins. I want one that looks like an ATM card - sleek and thin - that makes money come out of a wall.

I imagine it's only a matter of time until they finally get serious about the aesthetics and begin to offer some convenient new add-ons as well. What add-ons might you consider important?

Personally, I'd like to have a rear-view mirror, so when one of the kids tries to sneak up behind me I won't leap from my chair in fright. Right now, my only alternative is a seat belt for my chair. I'd like to have a lighted make-up mirror, a snack tray (other than my CD Rom tray), one of those telephone headsets, and a PA system so I can bark at the kids without leaving my work station. I want a "panic button" so when my server goes down, I can raise the roof about it in another state, and skip the preliminary stuff like looking for the telephone number, having to dial etc.

But when you get down to the brass tacks, what I'd really like to see is some way to keep the innards of my computer from being corrupted. It doesn't matter how pretty the shell is if the insides are scrambled.

Recently, I was able to log onto the Internet, but found I couldn't get the pages to load. Dutifully, I called my provider's Technical Support line. (I find it's critical to let them know every so often how much we need and appreciate them. For this reason, I try to call, oh, about once a week or so.) I was greeted with a pleasant new personality. "This is Cheryl Lee," she offers,"How can I help you?" "Wow," I thought to myself, "somebody that hasn't heard of me yet!"

"Well Cheryl," I replied, "I know my Operating System is corrupted. I'm trying to work up the nerve to dump my hard drive and rebuild it -- maybe tomorrow. And I don't suppose you'd be interested in raising my kids for the last few years of their adolescence... so, I guess my most immediate need is to get the pages to load so I can surf the Net. I can log on, but I can't go anywhere I want to go today." .

After implementing the fix, it was necessary to cold-boot the system. So I gave it a good *bonk*, and as we waited for my system to alternately pass out then revive, I pondered aloud to Cheryl, "If men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, where do you suppose computers are from?" Without hesitation, Cheryl replied, "Uranus".

She may have a point here. And considering the problems I've had, I decided she might very well be right - because there's no planet named "Hell." We marveled about the advances in technology, as far as being able to do new things, or do old things faster. But the rate of reliability has suffered. New programs don't work without new patches. All programs get corrupted. But how? And by whom? And when your OS corrupts, I guess it just doesn't feel "significant" unless it can spread that corruption around a little bit - okay, pretty much everywhere. Just like Bluto or Brutus from Popeye, it likes to flex its muscle, remind us who's in charge here.

After speaking with Cheryl and having my tires rotated, I logged back onto the Internet. Now might be a good time to study the Solar System.